Friday Evening, May 18 - Ray's update

Dearest Family and Friends,
My apologies for not updating for the past 2 days.  I have not been able to find the words to write this update.  My heart is breaking.   For those of you that are not yet aware, Ray went to be with the Lord Thursday morning (appx 1am).  He is singing and rejoicing now with his brother and hero, Gary, whom he has missed so much these last 2  years.  He is with his Dad who passed away 9 months ago and his Mom who died 24 years ago.  I never in a million years thought that Ray wouldn't be coming home.  I guess the Lord had other plans and called him to His home instead.  As I've said so many times on this blog, God is in control and we trust in His ultimate will, but we prayed so fervently for His will to be to heal Ray.  I know there were literally thousands of you all over the country that took time from your busy lives to pray for Ray through his entire journey, and especially these past 3 weeks during his bone marrow transplant.  I hope you don't ever feel that your prayers were in vain.  They were not.  We felt their power every single day.  They strengthened Ray and me and our family every day.  God did answer your and my prayers, just not in the way we would have hoped.  I can't pretend to understand this right now, but I continue to trust in the Lord and know without a doubt His love and grace will carry each of us through this time.  My heart aches for losing the love of my life, but also so much for my 5 children who no longer have an earlthy father.  That heartache is like no other.  I know my life and my kids' lives will never, ever be the same.  Again, God will be with us and bring comfort and help us to find joy in life again.  He will also do this through the love of our friends and family.  So many of our dear friends have reached out with their love and support already, bringing us comfort during this storm.  We are mainly still in shock I think...I tell myself 100 times a day "I can't believe this is happening".  It just doesn't seem possible that Ray - full of passion, love, laughter- so full of life - is no longer here.  That he won't come walking through the front door again or make us laugh again.   It seems impossible to bear.  But again, we find comfort in knowing God is in control. 

I will write more in a few days with a few more details of what happened the last day in the hospital, but the net is that Ray's liver had failed and they couldn't fnd out why or how to fix it, and ultmately his blood pressure dropped and they coudn't get it back.  His heart then failed.  The Drs tried to revive him, to no avail.  He just opened his eyes wide open and that was it.  (We never found out from the doctor what caused the infection or what caused his liver failure.  More on that in a later blog after the funeral.)   I had all our familly, including our twins and dear friends Mike and Carie, visit with Ray most of the afternoon/evening.  We talked to Ray and know he heard us.  He was starting to come out of the sedation.  It was such a blessing that everyone got to spend time with Ray and he knew everyone was with him.  Our 18 yr old son, Jordan, and my nephew Kyle, were with me when this happened, so thankfully I was not alone.  This was only the second time someone was going to stay with me overnight (Jordan slept in the chair by me last Friday night - Ray's first night on the ventilator).  I think down deep I just knew.

Ray's funeral is planned for Monday, May 21, at 3pm cst at our church.  Address below for anyone needing this.  We will receive friends at Temple Baptist Church from 2 - 3pm prior to the service.  Graveside service to follow at the Town Hall Cemetery in Lewisville, TX.  If you are able to attend Ray's service, your presence would be a great source of comfort to our family. 

Funeral Service:
Temple Baptist Church
2501 Northshore Blvd.
Flower Mound, TX  75028.
972-874-8700

(This is near the intersection of 2499 (Long Prairie//3040 (Flower Mound Rd)...a few blocks further down 2499 towrds Grapevine.)

Thank you again for all your love, support, encouragement, and prayers during our time of such need.  It has meant more to us than words could ever express.

GOD IS (STILL) BIG ENOUGH!

Love,
Teri and kids - Ashley and Zach, Jordan, Savana, Raegan and Morgan